4.5 months

4.5 months of dating.....

Someone who I really liked

Someone who I really enjoyed spending time with

But someone that I knew

Not only deep down

But because he voiced it

Didn’t have the same intentions

Or feelings as I did

19 weeks after meeting

He ended it

I didn’t have the strength

Or honestly

Even the desire

To walk away from something

From someone

Who wasn't BAD to me

With a history of abusiveness

And a history of depression

And a lot in between

To me,

It was better

To just be happy with someone

Even if it wasn't long term happiness

I spent hours and sometimes even days

wondering what he was doing

How his day was

Why he wasn't answering my texts

Why he didn't care to check in with me

It was always that he was "busy with work"

We'd try to plan times to hang out 1-2 times a week

but besides that, there was nothing there

Do I now think there was someone else

No?

But does it hurt that someone could 

pay such little attention to you? 

Yes...

Do I regret not walking away?

No

Am I happy he spoke up

And did walk away?

Yes, YES I am

It's nice to walk away from something, from someone

and NOT hate them

Because they manned up

and ended it as that, a MAN

Of course I  was upset

but KNEW I'll move on

and be OKAY

When a friend asked me how I was

I responded with

"OK, just trying to move on"

His response was simply

"You will..you know the routine"

When my response was,

"Yes, unfortunately all too well"

He realized that might not have been the best thing to say

but it was OK

cuz it reminded me

that I've been thru a lot

and I am a stronger person today

because of it

And I WILL find my prince charming some day ;)