Boston

As I sit here
a week after the Boston Marathon Bombing
and 3 days after the capture of the living suspect
Who has now been charged for it all

A day where
some are mourning the death
of their friend, family member, co-worker etc.
some are recovering from minor
to life-threatening
injuries
and
some are still trying to process
how & why
this could happen
to our amazing city
the amazing people
and the amazing community
of runners

I am listening to my Pandora in the background
while browsing Pinterest
and the song
Boston by Augustana
comes on the station
I just sit there and listen
I get the chills
I feel weird

I then remember
that this song
was my theme song
when I moved here

Almost four years ago now

I'd post it as my Facebook status
I'd blast it on every trip up to Boston
when I was preparing for the move

It then became my theme song
again
when I was dealing with the break-up
of the guy that I moved here for

It just seemed so fitting

She said I think I'll go to Boston. I think I'll start a new life. I think I'll start it over. Where no one knows my name


So many things have gone wrong
in the 3 years, 7 months and 22 days
that I've lived here
But SO much has also gone right

A new life
Starting over

I've done it,
not just once, either

But it has led me to the person
that I am today

Fighting depression
Dealing with anxiety
Becoming a runner
Becoming a friend to many
and someone
who
absolutely LOVES life

In between the move to Boston
and today, April 22nd

I've had heartbreaks
bad friendships
and all the
bad
emotional feelings
that come with those unfortunate situations
in life

Those feelings that make you want to end your life

But now
Looking back
on this week
this past year
and the past 4 years

I realize that I am
more in love with life
than I ever have been

and am so glad
I have amazing people
and now I know,
amazing strength
that got me here
where I am today

Loving Life

Boston Marathon

Marathon Monday is supposed to be a fun day........

I could have been there.

I should have been there.

90 feet from the first bomb.

Right at the finish line.

I RSVP’d to an event, RIGHT THERE.

I can’t get my mind away from this.  I can’t help but think that “someone” was looking over me and made me change my mind and stay more local to my apartment.  I am not religious, nor do I believe in any higher power but this is just too much to process right now. 

A few specific things kept me away from that area and I am so thankful. 

1. I had texted my co-worker shortly after seeing our co-worker/friend Greg around mile 22 to see if he saw Greg and where he was watching at.  He was along the route, 3 miles away from the finish line, about a mile away from me. 2. A few of my guy friends over slept and were being lazy and decided not to attend the marathon.  It was them who I would have met down at the finish line3. I have been nursing a very minor leg injury, so I hadn’t run that morning, so decided some walking would have been good for me. And Finally…because I know how tough those last miles are, and I’d rather be cheering people on when they need people the most and not when their adrenaline has kicked in and they are right at the finish of it all. 

I ended up in Washington Square, along Beacon Street, in Brookline.  I was right past the 23 mile marker.  A mile marker I know and hate.  It was at that mile in Philly that I felt as though I was going to die..felt like I was never going to make it to the finish line..felt like I was going to cry.  The feeling of wanting to cry at that mile marker, on Monday, just 5 months later, was a totally different feeling.  Looking back at that now, I cannot imagine how I would feel if at that point, in the pain I was in, (it is approximately where I would have been when the bomb went off according to my Philly time) I was told that my city was under attack by bombs and I could not finish. 

I will always remember how I found out about 9/11.  I will always remember the confusion and panic of something that was happening to my state, 90 miles from where I was and that people in my Dad’s profession, and possibly my Dad were in such danger.  And while September 11^th was definitely a worse tragedy, this, the Boston Marathon Bombing, happened so much closer to home.  In MY city, while I was AT the event, watching MY friends participate, affecting people LIKE ME….RUNNERS..and their friends and family. 

I had just gotten to the bar and my two friends and I were at the bar waiting for a drink.  My friend Katie, had a friend in town, whose girlfriend was running the race.  He left us earlier in the day to go to the finish line, to wait for her.  As we were waiting, Katie looked at us, with an odd look on her face, and turned her phone around to us.  A text with: “A bomb went off”.  That’s all it said.  It was 2:54pm.   That’s all we read.  I think I said the words bomb about 3 times out loud and was just in panic of “get more information!”.  I immediately jumped onto twitter and was able to find a few tweets about the incident.  Obviously anyone who was close was not tweeting, but instead running or helping others.  I went and told a few friends and then went outside to tell a few others.  A couple of minutes later, everything went silent.  It was a strange feeling.  We looked up and noticed that the bar had turned their loudly playing music down and turned the TV on to watch the news coverage.  Everyone’s attention was no longer outside at the runners but was at the TV screens.  Seconds later, we were being told to get off the streets and that all local bars are being shut down.  We went inside to gather everyone and our thoughts.   That is when the calls and texts started.  My sister texted and luckily I was able to make a call home to let them know I am OK.  I barely remember this conversation but quickly got off to start trying to locate others.  But then..phones went dead.  Texts weren’t going thru, calls weren’t working.  I was getting messages asking if I were OK and was unable to respond.  I was unable to get thru to one of my best friends who was only half mile from it all and not knowing if this was all over, it scared me not to be able to reach her.  We were all trying to find people and people were trying to find us, and it was very scary.  The last two runners who I knew on the course, who everyone I was with was waiting for, still hadn’t passed.  Luckily, I spotted them and yelled to everyone that I saw them.  We dropped all of our emotions and thoughts on the bombing for a few seconds, to cheer them on as they continued to run.  As soon as they passed we all proceeded to the streets and made the walk home.  At this point, all of my immediate friends had been located.  There were a few friends of friends were had not been, and that was an uncomfortable feeling.  We walked the streets of Brookline, into Brighton.  It was so quiet.  We continued to cheer runners on..many who were on their phones and just in a shock.

The night continued by the side of friends, watching the news, speaking of this tragic event happening in our city, just miles from us and continuing to answer friends and family via calls, texts, messages and facebook. 

Now..here I am.  Just 48 hours after these events happened.  Sitting in my office, just 2.5 miles from it all.  Still trying to wrap my head around it.  Still trying to process it.  And so thankful that I was not in that area.  So thankful that all of my friends are OK.  Hoping that they catch this bastard and knowing that we, BOSTON, will move on.  We will remain strong and I WILL RUN ON.